WARSAW, POLAND
Again I took part in
the Manifa in Warsaw. For those who do not know what Manifa is I explain – it
is an annual demonstration in Warsaw organized by the Association of Women of
March 8th on which women are gathering – those who are not afraid to use a word
feminist along with those who associate it only with a bunch of freaks burning
their bras – to demand their rights. It was a fourteen Manifa in Warsaw and for
a few years they also have been organized in other Polish cities. And they are
always accompanied by men.
I went there as a feminist. And as a friend. Jumping and dancing next to my good friend from high school I was thinking of all those women who I know and who could not or did not want to come.
The first woman who could not come was my friend from Bangladesh. A woman who I fell in love with since the very first evening I spent at her house. A woman brought up in a different culture, language and religion. And a woman who understands me without words. Who lives in a world totally different from mine yet has experiences so alike my own. And finally – a woman who inspired me to tell the whole world – yes we can come from completely different places on earth but we still experience not only the same way - but also same things although our circumstances may vary.
Who did not want to come were my friends from work. Women who I love working with and talking to although it often happens that we have different points of view. Same women who on one hand say that “I need a husband and two kids so that I wouldn’t have time to think of some
Manifa” but on the other they are equally outraged when I tell them how I was treated in a construction market (“this is a shop for do-it-yourself enthusiasts and we have nothing for housewifes” - and here I need to emphasize the fact that in Polish we use genders so the word “enthusiast” was masculine).
I was thinking of my mom who lives in a different city - a strong, amazing woman who has been always living her life in her own way and who tried to introduce me to life in such a way so that I could easily find my place in a society. She was dividing on what is male and what is female and then she was denying all this with her behavior (and for this denial I am mostly grateful).
Who also did not show up were my friends who are a couple for many years now (they would probably be married if it wasn’t for Polish law which can be interpreted as a luck of rights). They have stopped taking part in any manifestations since one of them got hit on the head with empty beer bottle during the demonstration against homophobia. Women who ceased open
public fight because it brought them no tangible effects. Women who decided to conduct a quiet and peaceful method of adapting their surrounding for the change of awareness and who manage to win this way.
Speeches and
catchwords coming from the platform placed on a truck were actually secondary
for me although this year unlike previously I would really sign myself under
most of them. Cause slogans are slogans. Happenings like Manifa obviously
flatten the reality and simplify expanded postulates into a few lines of a
slogan which is easy to yell out in a short time. And not all of them make
sense without the argumentation.
What was important for me was the fact that although we often disagree on certain points, and our consciousness or immunity to problems differ - all around the world we have same problems related to our gender. We happen to be raped, beaten, humiliated. We are the subject of jokes about blondes and stupid women (and although it may sound like an unimportant cliché - it is important and it does influence not only our self esteem but also a general world-view which was smartly described in the “World Without Women” by Polish feminist author Agnieszka Graff a dozen or so years ago). We are victims of violence about which we do not speak because of shame. We have no right to decide about our bodies and often also about our minds because we are forbidden the access to the possibilities of development. There are thousands of such issues and they appear with different intensities. They have different backgrounds and they influence our lives in multiple ways. They have
various courses and symptoms. But their root is always the same. We are categorized as women not people. And I can authenticate that with my direct observations and empirical experience - as a woman who happened to see quite a piece of this world.
Many women find problems described by feminists imaginary. Because they do not concern those particular women. They say that they have good lives and ask what is this hype all about? These very same women do not realize that without “all those feminists” they would be living in an entirely different world. And that without feminists their daughters whose needs are most probably going to differ from those of their mothers would be living in a world delayed towards themselves. They forget that to let other women also say “i have a good life” they need to act. Like it was described in a post from Dhaka “Violence against women”.
That is why I take part in Manifas. Not to think of what is separating us but of what is connecting us. About our gender, hormones, periods, clitoral and vaginal orgasms. About needs, aspirations, passions and problems. About dilemmas and bans. And I think that „nothing will
happen by itself – it needs to be done” – if we don’t take the responsibility for our own lives no else will (that was already described in the post from Dhaka “I see dead people all the time”). I also think of the fact that to change anything – law, mentality, social relations or whatever else bothers us – we cannot act only as individuals. We have to support each other. If not in everything then at least in common points. Like during the dance which was a protest against the violence against women which we danced during Manifa (along with men) three times – and some were following the steps while others were dancing the way they felt. And I suspect that even among those dancers personal definitions of violence might have been different.
And so regardless the historical associations and its receipt in various circles I think of my favorite S Word – SOLIDARITY. Without the movement by this name we would live in Poland where discussing such topics wouldn’t be possible but still – it’s not the movement I think of but
the basic meaning of this word which is: union or fellowship arising from common responsibilities and interests, as between members of a group or between classes, peoples, etc. In this case solidarity would be a sisterhood – a fellowship based if not on fully common interests then at least on community of having a pussy instead of a cock. Because those “anatomical details” though hidden under our clothes in a social and cultural perspective play biggest possible roles…
So this year I went to manifest my, maybe naive, maybe idealistic belief in the fact that we – women – can speak with one voice defending what is important for all of us. Even if some matters do not hurt us individually (I did not dance against the violence towards women because I experienced it – I was dancing for those who couldn’t dance instead). To manifest
my solidarity with women and – yes that is important – also men who understand that after all woman is not an object but as a man – a subject.
And I will go again next year. Maybe if I am lucky enough I will not be alone like last year and not in the company of just one friend like this year but in a bigger group hopefully consisting of both sexes…
Aleksandra Peszkowska
